On May 12th my husband and I arrived in Calabria. The name of my hometown is Montepaone.
We decided to spend our 25th wedding anniversary in Italy this year. This was to be a bitter sweet trip for us. I knew as we left I was going to take care of my aunt Teresa who has been sick for a couple of years now. I never expected to fine her in the condition she was in.
My aunt who always had beautiful hair , beautiful clothes and a little on the heavy side look so different. I watched her come down the stairs to greet my husband and I all I could think is who is taking care of her. She suffers from dementia and has mini strokes during the day. I was wondering how can anyone leave her in this condition. This is where our journey begins.
My aunt is and was always a stubborn women. She will not let anyone take care of her. She refuses help and can get very nasty at times. The nine days my husband and I spent in Montepaone were challenging . I would follow her in the morning and watch her make her coffee with anisette. According to my aunt her doctor order that, of course that was not true.
I cleaned her house as she yelled at me for throwing all her very old rags and old opened food away. The highlight of the day would be when my husband would sit outside with the old widow neighbors eating ice cream while I would cook and clean. During the night, my aunt had ritual that she performed before going to bed. The first night my husband and I were lying in bed and we heard screaming and banging on the windows. It was my aunt, she said "I am getting the demons out of my house"..... AH OK!!!! So after that we knew that she would do it each night.
As the days went on it became clear to me that she really need 24 hours care.
I really did not want to leave her but it is her life and her little town with her close friends. She plans on coming to the USA with her nephew soon. I hope she is able to make the the trip.
As I said goodbye to my aunt and Montepaone I looked around at the houses and the little alleys I would play in when I was a little girl and was sad.
I knew as my husband and I drove away that the next time I arrive in Montepaone my aunt will not be coming out to greet us instead the house will be empty waiting for the next generation to move in.
3 comments:
I agree, it's so hard to see her in that state...Nobody knows like you just how difficult and sad the situation is. I felt so helpless myself, just being there for a day every now and then and not being able to really do anything for her besides provide some companionship. I think you really did so much for her and helped in more ways than anyone can understand.
Hi, My name is Maria Concetta Calabrese. In 1958, my mom, Malta Maria (e skiola), my sister Antonietta and I arrived in Philadelphia, PA. Culture shock to say the least after having been born in Montepaone with hills and Ocean as our main view on life. Philly is great but we were enclosed by in a city of row homes. In 2008, my daughter Francesca and I returned to Montepaone but only had a few days to catch up with as many friends and relatives that the short time allowed. The saddest experience was to leave the older friends and relatives. I could only recall the many sacrifices, the hard work they endured up and down those hills on foot. Don't want to run out of space so I'll write later. Love and hugs from possibly a former playmate of your youth. Maria Concetta (e skiola e da parte di mio padre Giovanni Calabrese (e garigghianu)
The memories of auntie Theresa's genuine love are what makes Montepaone a place that I call home.
The little house auntie Theresa lived in is now back in the hands of the owners children, who I believe will bring it back to it's former glory. Nina's children will now continue to sow the seeds of love to all that enter there. AMORE VINCIT OMNIA...and because of Nina's Love, that little home will be our palace
The phantomRose
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